I’m sorry turtle …

Hello family and friends! This read is going to be short and to the point. I’m trying to stay consistent and keep it going, there is just not enough time in the day. My threenager a couple of days ago didn’t get his way and he was so upset. He began to shout and yell I told him no sir and sent him to his room. He knows the drill when your ready to behave come out. He goes to his room closes the door and says what are you looking at turtle?!? Omgosh?! I hear him through the door what?! I’m trying to keep my composure, but I had to call dad. It was too funny not to share that’s you, I said what!?! I just can’t with this boy. He’s on another level. He comes out of the room and asks sister why is your turtle looking at me?! He is so serious too, I told sister what happened and she smiled at me and shakes her head. A week passes and we keep going mom life in full effect. A friend of mine asks him of the encounter and he said I don’t know why the turtle was looking at me!?! She said did you apologize I’m not sure what his response was it was low, but I shake my head. So thankful for the reminder. That evening we go into his room and he apologizes. He tells me, mom, okay, you can go to the living room. I said okay but, stayed in the hallway and managed to get a picture and recording for the books. His words: I’m sorry turtle for being mean. This is it, it starts at home if we teach our children how to treat one another they learn. Kids are getting smarter by the minute and growing so fast. Parents I know it’s not easy and some days can be busier than most, but help guide our children in the best way possible. The best work we can do is in the walls of our home.

Apology
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Library fun, Reading…

Today was a fun day with my littles, but also a bit challenging. We went to our local library and spent at least two hours. My daughter checked out a book off her fourth-grade summer reading list and I also let her pick a book of her choice. Preparing our children for the new school year is definitely a plus. My daughter Mariah is nine she is well behaved and knows the drill when it comes to the library. It’s my son who makes it a bit challenging he’s three. This was his first visit and well you just never know how much patience a three-year-old can have at a library. He’s naturally loud, yikes! speaks very clear. We first got our library cards and just the registration alone seemed to be our longest wait, the process. My son was a bit antsy, but sister and I both informed him that if we were to loud we would be sent home and will not be able to return. He tried to run, but I told him walking feet then said sshhh… Lincoln look everyone is quiet and sitting down. (Kids pick up fast and are great visual learners).Yay!! We got our cards and enter the kids’ corner first thing they went to was the computers. Abc mouse was a click away and it is very educational, both kids enjoyed it. After the computer my son played with some tabletop manipulatives and my daughter and I played beside him. We picked up a calendar as we headed out with the list of events and information to what’s ahead. This trip was perfect for us and best of all it’s free!! Quality time well spent with one another and learning a plus, memories made priceless! We decided to make this a weekly visit if not maybe at least every other week. When was the last time you went to the library!?! Waiting game over, go tomorrow!!!

His first book choice… I think he was telling me something here… Lunchtime mom!
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Computer time…

Discipline is love

  • This read is in teaching in a form of love I am working on within my children. I don’t want to break my children’s spirit nor do I want them to believe they are entitled. I want to share my knowledge to help other parents with children on discipline so they may grow to be just what they were meant to be. I have two amazing kids that are growing by the minute. Each day is beautifully made and special with something new to learn and experience. This lesson takes great skill and control, It’s not always easy to discipline our children it hurts us more than it hurts them. Discipline is a form of love. I had to discipline my daughter Mariah the other day she had a bad attitude with me when I asked her to change the channel and she threw the remote. I quickly asked her to put her hand down she wanted to hide it from me. Brother quickly yelled no mom, no!! I then asked brother to put his hand down as well. I love that brother defends sister, but this was not the time. I tapped each one of them. Lincoln for yelling at me, and I told him in a firm voice you don’t yell at mom. Lincoln you don’t yell at anyone. A special line of mine I like to instill within my children and ask them so they understand: We only yell when?!? Kids: when we need help. Immediately, Lincoln goes to his room with tears and sister is sad too. I go to speak to my son first, he tells me his heart is breaking. I told him I’m sorry, Lincoln you can’t yell at mom we don’t yell at anyone. I then ask him if I could kiss his heart and fix it. I give him just that, a kiss on his heart and a warm hug and told him I love him. Afterward, I tell him I have to go fix Mariah’s heart too, we both go to the living room. He looks and watches over sister and me talking. I apologize to sister about the tap on her hand but, inform her of her actions; Mariah your attitude you had when you tossed the remote we don’t do that. It’s not nice when anyone asks you for something whether it’s mom or not we need to have a good attitude and not get upset. When you threw the remote down that showed me you had a bad attitude. Actions speak louder than words. I have to teach both my children how to behave well and how to treat others. Sometimes children can make us very upset for doing something they shouldn’t, and our reaction can be out of frustration and anger, this is where our control comes into play. We have to have complete control when disciplining so it is done with love and nothing less. Staying in a calm and gentle manner takes skill when disciplining this technique is a must. It is in our behavior that we show our children how to behave. I hope this read can help parents to have a better understanding when it comes to discipline. Each parent may have there own form of discipline which is okay! any form of discipline is good, and not harmful when it is done with love.

  • God will lead you to where you need to be…

    I want to share my faith with my family and friends and how good the Lord is. Trust with all your heart God has put you exactly where he wants you and needs you. People will come into your life as a lesson or a blessing. God does his work through us. I remember when I first stepped into childcare. I didn’t have much experience except for all the home training of watching of my cousins, brother and family friends. I wanted this job so bad at the center I was persistent on calling. I thought having my daughter with me was perfect! I can watch over her and bring home some money to our family was a win win. I called week after week are you hiring ? I finally got the answer, yes!can you come in for a interview, I was there and I got hired. I thanked God for this great opportunity, but little did I know what God had in store for me. A classroom setting was a whole other level for me within itself. This was not okay, kids play.. run.. be free !! This was structure and this new teacher (me) was a free spirit! Structure what!?! We had a full day with a schedule and staying on schedule was hard. God was working within me and helping me grow as a mother, teacher and friend some days I didn’t know what I was doing, but this helped me so much. Til this day I am so grateful for working at the Academy. My daughter Mariah was in another class before she came into mine, she enjoyed being there. I remember my director telling me kids are like sponges they will soak everything up and I held on to this. When we would go home for the day I would take my daughter a night time bath I always would talk to her and tell her water, water just so she could understand we’re playing in the water and eventually pick up the word water. She wasn’t catching on. She was constantly getting into things she shouldn’t, having to redirect her. I began to feel like their was something not right, I just couldn’t pin point it. I remember her having a high pitch scream/cry just so different from what I was use to hearing. I mentioned to her pediatrician that I had been around many children and my daughters cry is different. Its very high pitch, he told me it was normal. Since the Dr. had told me it was normal I believed it to be true. I continued to carry on, and as I did with my daughter growing she just wasn’t listening and this was hard to understand. My husband believed she was like him and just stubborn, but I thought no. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew something was not right. I left work early because she had a check up visit. I remember getting her from her class and her teacher telling me “Val” have them check her ears and I said okay! I will. The Dr. came in and I asked him to check her ears and he did just that with his otoscope, no ear infection! so I continued to go as everything was good. What I didn’t realize until after was her teacher was trying to say more. Until the day I got called into the office with the director “Mrs. Valerie” she said, I did observations in Mariah’s class and I just wanted to ask you has Mariah had a hearing test? I said her newborn screening test yes, but that’s it. She passed, I said and then remember freezing. Everything began to sink in. “Mrs.Valerie” I went in there and I asked who wants candy all the kids ran except her, then the kids were playing outside and I said it’s time to come in everyone came in except her, my tears began to fall I could no longer hold it in as her tears fell too. This was it my daughter couldn’t hear. I called my husband to tell him he was in denial just believing she was stubborn like him. I left the pediatric clinic and found a new one just knowing that the old clinic did not serve us. I scheduled her appointment with the ENT and it was confirmed my daughter had severe to complete hearing loss. I thank God for where I was because what if I wouldn’t have discovered this til years later. So many what if’s, but God put me exactly where I needed to be. I was at a center where the whole staff, the owner, and families reached out. Families cooked meals for us during this time, they prayed for us and it was beautiful. We were so blessed to have the love and support all around. My daughter had her surgery and got her cochlear implant. She has now been hearing for 7 years. God is so good and he does amazing work through us. I am forever grateful for everyone there at the center, the teacher and director indeed did their jobs. Trust God, put him first for his plans our bigger and greater than our plans.❤️🙏

    Break the silence…

    We live in a new age, new era and this day and age it is so open to countless possibilities. It can be scary to step outside with children often those are the easier targets within mothers/fathers being so distracted within the child that we bypass what’s around us. I encourage all moms/dads family and friends when you have little ones please stay alert. There is so much bad happening around us that I believe we all could do better to prevent the harm of our children. I tried to protect my girl and her innocence from this world, but I had to talk to her so much more to make her aware. She had an encounter with a kid who told her he was going to kill her. She took it for what he said. The truth of the matter is, this is the way kids speak these days. Some of these matters can’t be taken so lightly. She shut down and was crying. She honestly believed he was going to kill her. It broke my heart to see her down and out. I had to reassure her nothing was going to happen. The child’s mother was advised of the situation and was going to have a talk with her child too. Please talk to your kids find out what’s eating them inside. She’s opening up more and more and it makes my heart warm to know what she’s feeling inside. I can honestly say she’s shining brighter by the day. Communication is key to all relationships. I remember growing up and my father asking me everything okay? and I always said yes, I’m just tired. But truth be told me using tired was just my cover up to what was really bothering me inside. I didn’t want to tell my dad how I was hurting inside that I always used ”tired”. I later discovered that this parent is very common for children to use. I was scared to tell my dad because I was not as open with him in ways I was protecting the other kids” friends” from my father knowing how they hurt my feelings. When you see your child staying locked up in the room and always saying they are tired this is not healthy parents. Get them out and about take them to a favorite place of theirs. We need to do better parents, get them going again. When I opened up to my father I began feeling so whole, so alive and complete again. Let your kids know if another child is being mean to them step away you don’t have to be mean back, but walk away the child is going through some difficulties and we need to advise our teachers/ moms and dads to help this child get through it. Suicide is increasing so much more these days and the kids are getting younger. Please be aware, stay alert and protect our children!

    Missing (YOU)

    I had a little writer’s block for a sec not knowing which direction to go, but then I realized why I started and how much this means to me. Teaching my lessons head on and helping other parents or anyone at all in general. My son who’s a ”threenager” had an episode where he completely flipped out. Early morning I woke up to open up the door for Baby Jax who had just arrived. I didn’t realize how having a little one under one affected my son until this. I’m talking to Jax’s mom to find out all about Jax and his last feeding before we start the new day. Suddenly, I hear a yell out loud ”turn the lights off” turn the lights off!! What!? me and Jaxs mom look at each other as I began to walk her out. I’m sorry, he’s not a morning person, I don’t even know, like this kid!? And she says yeah? how does he know how to be grumpy about the lights on. We both shake our head and Jax and I see her off ”have a good day!” you too! As I come to check on my son he had closed the bedroom door shut and locked it. I begin to knock, Lincoln open up the door, his response: put Jax outside and lock the door. Me (mouth drop)what!? Him: put Jax outside and lock the door. Me: Lincoln that is not nice, Lincoln! no, open the door. He insisted so I pretend and said okay! he’s outside to see if this will get him to open the door. No y’ all he said no you didn’t, I said yes! Lincoln he’s outside; still, he did not open the door. I had to grab a small tool to open up the bedroom door. I broke into our bedroom. My son began to scream noooo mom, nooo so upset he ran into another room and tried to slam the door. I put my foot there and he was not able to close it, then he goes and runs for another door I tell him no, behave. (Having baby Jax at my hip) .He gets louder and runs to another door I put my foot there too, then another door at this point Baby Jax begins to get startled and starts to cry. I take a step back to calm baby Jax and my son closed the door and locked it. I didn’t know what my son was going through?! he finally came out and expressed himself: mom I took out all the turtle food me: what!? Him: yeah, I did that. I get so angry and that’s what I do. Me:(eyebrow raise firm voice) Lincoln do you want Dad to get so angry?!? because this is going to make him so angry! (yes! I pulled out the dad card!!) hurry get the broom and lets clean this. I had to use dad just try a different method to get him to calm down. I didn’t know where to go from this point and I had to think fast. As he ran to get the broom I took a picture(evidence). We cleaned up and I asked him why did you do this? him: mommy I get so angry so I did this. Me: Lincoln this is not okay, you can’t do this. I gave him a hug and told him this is not how we behave. He calmed down and was well behaved from this point on throughout the day. Once dad came home and settled in, I brought out my phone to show dad the picture (in front of Lincoln so he sees I’m not hiding anything from dad). He called Lincoln to the room in private to talk to him. Once dad came out he informed me Lincoln was in his room taking a break for 5 minutes. I peak in and see him laying on his bed hands behind his head like a grown teenager. I can’t with him, shaking my head and walking off. His five minutes it up, he comes to me and tells me, mommy I’m sorry I just wanted you. Just me and you. You to lay with me. I told him its okay! and I gave him a hug. Often it is easy for the little one to get most of the attention because his/her needs require more from the parent. I didn’t realize until this that my son was getting upset wanting more of my attention and in his behavior was his frustration for my attention. (Bad)behavior is a cry where the child ”needs” more of our attention. Especially to be corrected. The following day I didn’t have Jax and I got to spend quality time with Lincoln. We went out to the store he got his child shopping cart ”Kroger ”is so kid-friendly, making the shopping experience so much easier for moms and dads!! Lincoln loves to go grocery shopping he gets his strawberry syrup, milk, and anything he puts in whether its chips or cookies he makes sure he grabs a double for sister! (this can add up quick).We check out drop the groceries off at home and go buy lunch to surprise sister. As she sees us walking into lunch she smiles from ear to ear. Mariah: Mom I love you! and I’m so happy your here!” me: me too!”I love you! Inside voice: I know if Lincoln is missing me, then Mariah must be missing me too! It can be so hectic to juggle each and every child’s needs especially the more you have, but I encourage every parent to make the effort to give them that one on one quality time. Your child’s behavior will improve and believe me you will find great reward from within!! Keep going Mom/Dad!!! You got this!!

    Seriously!!!

    more of this, please!!!

    Bro, sis love

    Easter fun and family traditions…

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    This read is very special to me. I hope my children will be inspired to be creative in their own unique ways and make plenty of memorable moments. My grandpa ”Fino” passed away a couple years back, but I’m a firm believer and find this qoute to be true, ”those we love don’t go away they walk beside us every day, unseen, unheard but always near, Still loved, still missed and very dear. My grandpa implanted in me some special holiday traditions. Every Christmas he was Santa and y’all he was the perfect Santa, jolly with white hair and he even had the beard! Every Christmas just seemed like it got more fun with everything he brought to the table. My childhood memories with him as Santa are amazing!! He would come to the house were the whole family was and knock on the door holding a black trash bag filled with gifts for all the children. It was so awesome!!! Then the following year he came walking down the street and the kids in the neighborhood would be running and shouting ”Santa” ”Santa” Then again, the next year he brought out his Guitar and we sung Christmas carols! These memories I hold on to especially when I’m not feeling at my highest they help me to keep smiling!! As I got older and had my daughter (this is where my creative side came out) and based on what my grandpa taught me. I realized we didn’t have a Easter bunny, Which Easter I know is not about the bunny but it’s about God and how he died and rescued us! I understand this to the fullest. This Easter tradition I started with a bunny suit has come along way. I surprised my Daughter at school dressed as the bunny she never knew it was me. Her whole class was so excited and we did the bunny hop and passed out eggs. I like to believe that I gave these children a memorable Easter dressed as the bunny and lifting their spirits. I don’t know what these children face in the walls of their own home for all I know this maybe their only Easter memory, but it was a great one! God works through us and I can honestly say he worked through my Grandpa and he lifted our spirits always. He was a true light! When we rise, we rejoice in the spirit!! And lifting the spirits of my children and family and friends is what I aspire to do!! I hope you all have a wonderful Easter and rejoice!!

    Easter Bunny surprise! 

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    Bunny Val, ”Santa”