Trying to fill a void?! Many of us have been here a time or two and I just want to say there is no one that can fill a void, ”no one” love, that comes from within. That void comes from you and ends with you. What you need is self-healing. You really have to handle what’s going on inside, your hurting?! it’s expected. Maybe you experienced a traumatic loss, a bad break up, someone walked out on your life, these are all hard losses, and believe me those pills are hard to swallow. Speaking from experience, I want to go back to when my mom had left and moved to a different state. I remember just spiraling down. I was in middle school I went from making good grades to making 40’s and my worst 30. I was there in school, but I wasn’t. I had to do summer school back to back my self-worth was so shot that I stopped caring. When I started drinking it was heavy, I would pass out where ever I was. Drinking to fill that void was my outlet, but not the answer. Once I was sober that void was still there and it left me filling more empty. Drugs are the same, they can give you a high, but once you come off that high it’s still there. If you’re turning towards a man/woman to fill that void your turning to the wrong one love. When you’re emotionally vulnerable you are giving him/her the power to rebuild you. You are not complete, your heart is in half. Don’t you dare sell your self short!! You want a man/woman to love you wholeheartedly you must heal wholeheartedly. Respect yourself! you are beautiful and wonderfully made. You have to stop and be strong enough to realize what you’re doing, and that the person you will be hurting more through this is yourself. You need to let it out, speak to someone close to you, have a journal? get it out love, and get closer to God. He is carrying you right now, “how do I know this?” he carried me through. I made it through school, I didn’t get alcohol poisoning, I survived love. My mom is back in my life, I have an amazing husband, and two beautiful kids. If your loss was a death love, rest assure they are watching over you. Make them proud, rise above, and put yourself first!
During this time of uncertainty, It can be so hard to keep calm and not get stressed. How can you not worry?! I know some may ask, I understand believe me I do for the elderly, our children, everyone we are all in this together. I’m here to lighten that load some. Believe me when I tell you our father has carried us this far and he will continue to carry us through this too. I want to go back to 2017 when hurricane Harvey hit. I remember this day like it was yesterday, I was not tuned into what was going on outside of my work or home. I was not prepared at all for Harvey I don’t believe a lot us were, to be honest. I was living at the time with my father and mom. My family and I were saving for our own home. My school was closing down for the week where I worked. I was completely out of the loop asking my coworkers what’s going on. They informed me of the hurricane coming. I spoke to my husband informing him and he picked up water and food on his way home. That evening my family and I were playing Loteria (Mexican bingo) I remember being at the kitchen table and my sister or brother had turned on the tv. (Not sure which one) to the weather channel then, I saw it. I saw the size of the hurricane and category, I froze and dropped my coins, I’m done I said. I then asked “that’s coming this way”?! my dad said meija calm down. I immediately grabbed the liquor bottle (I know this is not good) and took a shot, it helps me control my anxiety. He reassured me everything will be okay, I went to lay down and held my kids tight. My husband comforted me and around 4 a.m my brother had woke him up. My brother had seen the water coming in and it was at our front doorway coming into our bedroom. I wake up to the knocking of my father’s door. My brother went to wake him up, we have to leave there’s water coming in he said out loud to my father. My mom wakes up asking what’s going on?! through her bedroom door, as I walk to the hallway I begin to hear my father start to gag he has a weak stomach for this (it’s his nerves). I see my mom on her crutches coming out of her room with her eyes watery, I try to keep my composure and not break down. My sister comes to pick us up in her SUV making rounds… first for the kids, my mom and me, then for my father, brother, and husband. She lives next door and her home is lifted higher. I remember logging into my Facebook account and sharing a post asking for prayers and asking God to protect us all. Sharing this info helped lift my family in prayer. God indeed had answered our prayers. The water didn’t come into my sister’s home. My father’s home didn’t completely go under. Family and friends all over helped my father get his home back in order, even prepared meals during this time and brought my children clothes. The school I had worked for came together and poured their hearts out to my family and I. We received multiple donations of cash and clothes from the many families of the school. I remember holding back the tears and some days just letting it out. God had blessed my family and me tremendously and I want to tell you he will bless you too! Put your worries away give it all to God love, he will carry you through. Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Our World just flipped upside down what, when, how long!? so many questions?!? As a mother of two, I am trying to balance it all. My son is 4 my daughter is 10. The age gap can definitely call for some challenging moments. My son tries to keep up with sister, and sister at times doesn’t know her own strength. Is it a Challenge? you bet! but I’m doing the best that I can do. Just a little insight of my world. How’s home school going for you? this is crazy! Never seen anything like it? we’re all in the same boat. A huge adjustment for us all. My son is not in grade school yet like my daughter but I’m still trying to keep him and her on the same page having them both do some school work. (more like preparing brother since he’s quite not there yet). My daughter is struggling with her reading/writing she gets so annoyed with it. So glad I was able to see this and I can help her more with it. Reading was not my thing either. I always went after the picture books they were the best. “You” could make your own story with what you see in the picture! (Fun idea) yes !! cover the writing and ask your kids to write about what they see using their own words. I’m not sure if anyone else feels me on this, but honestly, I feel like this was much needed for my kids and I. Sometimes mom life can become overwhelming with 100s of things to do on the to-do list with that feeling of I need to do this, and this and it goes on and on …are you guilty? I will be quick to admit I am. Slow down mama and enjoy what’s right in front of you. Your kids their growing by the minute take it in, take it all in. Some of us are not use to all this noise in the house, but our kids are not use to being cooped up inside either. I strongly encourage going outside it’s much needed. Keep your sanity!! I’m a early childhood educator believe me when I say kids need out and so do you! Take everything into consideration while stepping out. (hand sanitizer to go) (keeping your distance) Whether it be in your front or backyard or even the park, step out. We went to the dog park the other day. The kids and I enjoyed it! Great place to go with the kids while everyone was spread out. We met different pups and talked about the different breeds. (Fun lesson) Another week down, cheers!! mama you made it! I hope you get to enjoy a glass of wine or two you deserve it!! Or heck even the whole bottle ☺️Ps. What’s going on in your Casa ?! (home) you start a TikTok yet?!? If so we would love to add y’all!! It’s fun!! Follow us @valpal1719
Social distancing is really happening…Schools are being shut down Daycares and Academys I believe maybe be next too. As a former teacher for a 12/18 month old class I want to help and offer some tips and advice for parents and caregivers with littles during this time. Routines in a childs life is so important. When they have day to day routines this creates structure in their lives also, routines give infants and toddlers a sense of security and stability. Having a routine helps make everything easier for the child as well as for the parent. It almost becomes predictable as to what is expected. In my class our routine consist of 15 min increments, from the beginning of our day to the end. (Minus nap time 12-2pm, lunch /diaper changing/potty training). This age their attention spam is short. From 12-2 pm”This” is ”You”time mama/papa caregiver!! Take advantage!! When your baby hits one that’s when the morning nap should break and your child can go down to one nap a day. This is a win! win! your child will sleep better through the night and so will you! Listed below is a schedule to the best of my knowledge that was wonderful for children ages 12/18months…
- 6:30 Good morning! Welcome ! Table tops… puzzle, stacking blocks etc..
- 7:00 breakfast/free choice center (library, kitchen play etc…
- 8:00 Diaper changing/wash hands
- 8:30 Circle time (colors, shapes,numbers,alphabet and songs, signing)
- 8:45 music and movement
- 9:00 Arts and crafts
- 9:30 wash hands(am) snack/drink
- 9:45 diaper changing/ hand washing
- 10 outside time
- 10:30 wash up transition to music
- 10:45 music time over/ wash up
- 11:00 lunch
- 11:30 diaper changing
- 11:45 story time
- 12:00 Lights out/quiet time/ nap time
- 2:00 lights on/diaper changing/hand washing
- 2:15 free choice centers (cars, legos, dress up play)
- 2:30 wash hands(afternoon) snack
- 3:00 outside time
- 3:30 wash up
- 3:45 afternoon art
- 4:00 diaper changing/hand washing
- 4:30 circle time review
- 4:45 music and movement
- 5:00 story time
- 5:15 wash hands(late pm)snack/drink
- 5:30 diaper changing/hand washing
- 5:45 free choice centers/cleanup time
- 6:00 table top
- 6:30 dismissal
I hope this helps guide you mama/papa or caregiver to create the best routine for you and your child during this time… stay safe and healthy!
This hit as I came across this post pictured above ”You can not raise children the way your parents raised you because they raised you for a world that no longer exists.” This day and age it’s so important for children to be very aware. As a early childhood educator I know how well children soak up everything. I also know that sometimes children are exposed to too much and we can’t help it due to their circumstances at home, all we can do is pray for them. I understand sometimes too you have children who are sheltered ”me” my father protected me and always kept me in a great atmosphere with family and friends. I was definitely his princess. Reality hit hard. Truth is not everyone is friendly and easy going. Right now family and friends moms/dads, caregivers we need to step up more than ever our children need us. Talk to them, talk all the time to them let them be so aware that they already know what’s coming… My son is 4yrs old and he surprises me with how aware he is. His teacher told me recently he was the classroom tattle tell. I asked yeah?! she said yes! he tells me when children are misbehaving. I told her he’s aware of it and he’s making sure your aware of it too! My daughter I was doing the same as my father did to me (sheltering her) but then it hit one day she came home so sad a child at school told her he was going to kill her. She believed it, I had a serious talk with her this day and it really opened my eyes as to what I was doing. Kids will say all types of things even negative things that will really hurt your feelings if you let it or make you believe their really going to do something when their not going to do anything at all. Talking to your children will help them cope with these negative remarks thrown at them. I had to open up my daughter to more and let her know not everyone is nice and kids do say hurtful things, but honestly it’s not you there’s something going on with that child. I can’t say it enough talk to your children. If your aware mom/dad caregiver that somethings is not right make sure you make it alright. Find out what’s going on with them if their feeling down and out maybe that’s all they need just a little talking to, to pick them right back up. If their feeling great, I’m sure you are too!!
These words here hit me and I will never forget it… I was in a dealership at that time and the sales man was printing out all the paper work for me to sign on a new vehicle. During the process his phone was going off and he said I’m sorry, that’s my wife, this is my off day and here I’am. I said, I understand. He answered and said, I will be home soon I’m just finishing up. When he got off the phone I said you just took me back. I remember my husband telling me those exact words. He was a tow truck driver at the time he was constantly chasing the money which was great and I understood he was taking care of us, but I wanted him home a little more. I then asked him do you have children? he said ”yes” from my first marriage. He then said one day I rewatched videos of my children when they were little and I wasn’t there and that hit him. Then he said those words ”When you hit the rewind button make sure it plays out exactly how you want it.”I looked at him and polity said sir, I’m sorry, I’m not going to take this car. He looked at me and said what happened!? I said I’m sorry but, right now I can’t. Thank you though, go home and spend time with your wife. Later on that evening I went to my father and offered to buy his Mountaineer.(It was paid off and before my fathers it was our beloved grandpa’s) He said you want this vehicle? I said, yeah! my kids and I will love it. It has plenty of room and it was my grandpa’s which is even more special. My father made that deal. The following weekend my dad had got him a new vehicle it was clean! He had purchased a black Dodge Challenger and it was sweet!! I didn’t have the money to do what I wanted and buy it myself but I did what I could and “That” right there is all we can do! Ps. Dad you deserve the World!
Rest up mama !! Mama I need you? Mama look mama this,mama that… Balancing it all out can be overwhelming we tend to get sidetracked from this that and the other its only human. It’s just to many jobs at once, our plates are over filled. I just want to stress the importance of staying healthy keeping the right mindset and staying present. Mama you got this! You can do it all!! Rest up, rest up the importance of sleep is so real. I’ve been there, I know. If your not well rested your not fully there. Your listening but it’s coming in and going out like what ?! catching every other word feeling so lost (your exhausted, listen to your body mama). This right here can make a child, student or anyone at that matter feel very disconnected. Mom! your not listening?!? Teacher!? teacher!? You really have to know when to shut your body down. Your child, your student, your spouse, your friend really want all of you, not half of you. No worries mama the dishes, the laundry, will get done just not right now and that’s okay! Take yourself a nap! You need it! The importance of sleep goes hand in hand with staying healthy. Lack of sleep will wear you down. You body can easily pick up everything in the air when you are down… colds/flu… Take yourself a vitamin mama, vitamin c, women’s one a day etc..(there’s so many) I take B12 once I get home, it gives me that second boost I need for my second shift at home, cause let’s face it once you clock out at your workplace your job is not done yet. Stay at home moms I’ve been there too! you need your rest just as well. Your kids need you mama! Keeping the right mindset will also help you get things done, stay positive know you got this! With the right attitude the right mindset and the right amount of rest you can do it all!!!